We Have to Do the Work

No matter how many self-help books we dive into or workshops we attend, we’ve got to put in the work ourselves. The real trick to finding lasting happiness is sticking with it. It took me years to get a handle on my struggles with executive function—things like managing my time, keeping myself in check, and dealing with impulsiveness. Sometimes I won these battles, sometimes not.

Over the years, I tried tons of coping strategies: creating structure, using checklists, meditating, practicing martial arts, and picking up hobbies—so many hobbies. But none of these really hit the mark because I didn’t grasp the idea of a growth mindset.

With my fixed mindset, I thought my abilities were set in stone. This fear of failing held me back more than once.

It took a lot of effort to challenge these limiting beliefs, to push through my fears and fully embrace my new goals, making sure they aligned with what truly mattered to me.

My old Kung Fu teacher, Sifu Lore, once told me, “The only secret technique in Kung Fu is practice.” It took me years to really get that, and even longer to understand that being inconsistent wasn’t failing—it was just part of the journey to becoming consistent.

And it’s true. We can’t really know meditation without meditating daily. We can’t learn mindfulness, gratitude, positivity, kindness, effort, patience, or even juggling until they’re part of our daily lives.

We can keep getting better in so many ways. Most limits are ones we set for ourselves. I might never win the Boston Marathon, but I know I’m far from reaching my full potential. Here’s to always running, lifting, learning, thinking, and improving.